You all know I love to talk about food, and that is what I consider my area of expertise. But I have a dirty little secret I haven’t shared beyond a few very close friends. Until now. I’m about to get really real and vulnerable here. Be gentle, ok?
A couple years ago I gradually came to the realization that my marriage was, well, blah… I was married to an incredible guy. Everyone loves him. He had friends out the wazoo, a career on-the-rise. He was supportive. He was a great dad. We had just had our daughter and we were finding our “new normal,” which is a way of saying “we’re settling for the status quo because we don’t know any better.”
I had sold my pet care business to become a stay-at-home-mom, and I made parenting my new career. It was a major identity shift for me. I threw everything into parenting. It was my #1 focus and everything else came second, including my marriage.
On paper we had it all. We had just built our dream home. We traveled 4-5 times a year to exotic places. We were on the same page about most things and we were really good friends. But underneath the surface, we were going through the motions. We had become really good taskmasters and stayed busy enough to pretend everything was normal.
At the time I would have put us in the “Good but could be better” category. But in hindsight, I think we were a little lower than that. The bickering started to become more frequent. My patience grew thin as my irritability grew thick. The complaining to my girlfriends had become a bit more prevalent.
“Ya know how men are,” insert eye roll here.
I was taking an online parenting course at the time, Positive Parenting Solutions if you’re curious. That’s probably a whole other post! If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a self-help junkie. Always love to learn. One of the modules was taught by a guest speaker, Stacey Martino. I’d never heard of her. But dang, she got my attention.
She talked about being on the same page in parenting and the importance of maintaining
the fun in a marriage even when you have children. Say what?!
She talked about Unshakable Love and Unleashed Passion. After getting over the initial giggling, I got more serious about it. I just thought it was normal for the sparks to fade. I was in an amazingly loving marriage, but experiencing “unleashed passion” on the daily? Well, no, not really. I was curious to say the least.
I am not one to settle, so I set out to learn about this love guru, Ms Stacey Martino. Turns out she was trained by Tony Robbins, and it shows. She is a dynamite! I signed up for her emails, watched her videos, attended her free webinars, took pages of notes, and started putting things into action. I wanted more.
When Stacey asked “What’s the difference between salad and garbage?” I was stumped… “Time,” she said. Time is the only difference between a delicious salad and putrid garbage. It’s like that in relationships, she explained. If you’re in a passion-less relationship, it’s only a matter of time before you’re hanging by a thread. Shit. This was us. To a T.
I was scared. I did not want to be garbage. I did not work my whole life to be garbage!!
My husband will admit he was not on board. He didn’t get it. He didn’t think much was wrong, and he certainly didn’t anything was bad enough to spend money on. “Can’t you just go get a relationship book from Borders or something?” was his suggestion the first time I asked to join the Quick Start Course. We didn’t speak for a couple days. We were on wildly different pages. It was the first worst fight we’d ever had! How ironic is that?
I stewed for several months, and we had some very typical ups and downs. Every once in while I’d catch an email from Stacey and pick up a tip or two to try. And then I watched another webinar and I swear she was speaking right to me.
I eventually signed up for the Quick Start Course without asking Mike for approval the second time (oops! He wasn’t thrilled but he ended up forgiving me.) There was a money-back guarantee, and with PayPal Credit, I didn’t even have to put money up to give it a try. Thankfully I learned in the course about how to navigate uncomfortable conversations! LOL
What came next was unbelievable. I did everything I learned to do. I started to shift. I started to see things differently. I realized MY role in the relationship and how I had contributed to getting us exactly where we were. Oops again!
I kept doing the work – on my own, by the way. This is NOT a couple’s course. It’s intended for ONE PARTNER. It may take two to tango, but it does not take two willing participants to transform a relationship! And we were proof of that.
I began to see myself showing up a little differently in every relationship. With our daughter. With my family. With my friends. With my coaching clients. I was learning how to be the best and most authentic version of myself. And it was rewarding.
Mike was seeing it too. He started to respond differently. By healing the divide between us, we quit tiptoeing around each other. The sparks came back. After 15 years of marriage, I’m thrilled to say we now experience unshakable love and unleashed passion!
Mike had never seen a second of the program. He had no idea what I was learning or doing differently, but he could feel that it was different. He jokes that they must have been teaching Jedi mind tricks because our relationship pulled a 180! Some things I’ll keep to myself, thank you very much.
Last spring I booked my ticket to Relationship Breakthrough Retreat and made arrangements for child care so it wouldn’t even be a bother for his work schedule while I went. That sparked the second worst fight we’d ever had! But this time it wasn’t because he disapproved – it was because he didn’t want to be left out!! So we ordered his free ticket to RBR and we went as a couple.
Note, we both went, but we both went for personal development. We sat at separate tables and did our work independently! Sounds strange, I know, but this is proof that this is NOT couples work. Most people were there on their own. So if your partner is not on board please don’t let that stop you. If you want better, you can get better!
We attended RBR together. Holy crap. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that great a shift in a matter of months. It was unbelievable.
Why am I sharing all of these personal details with you? Trust me, it’s not because I want my personal life out there for scrutiny. It’s because I actually care about you. If you follow me at all, I know you’re not satisfied with the status quo when it comes to your health. I’m going to guess you’re not satisfied with letting your marriage fizzle just because that seems to be the norm these days. I see people struggling with relationship every single day.
I also know everyone could benefit from letting Stacey and Paul Martino into your life, as I have.
These two are on a mission to “change the way relationship is done” and I can tell you they are succeeding. RBR last year was filled with relationship transformers experiencing breakthrough after breakthrough. There is so much energy, the room is electric – and that’s not easy to sustain from 8am to 10pm 3 days in a row… But they do it!
Ok, so here’s your chance… want an unshakable love?
Want more passion than you thought was possible at this point?
The BEST part… Stacey will show you how to get the Unshakable Love and Unleashed Passion you want in your relationship… EVEN if your partner REFUSES to change!
Remember that free webinar I watched that changed everything?
They’re doing another one! Check it out and watch with me!
Paul and Stacey are the REAL DEAL! And their tools really work!
I feel like this was the biggest gift I’ve ever given my family. Do this for your family today!
Happy Valentine’s Day my loves,
P.S. Last February when Stacey & Paul did a LIVE class like this… TENS of thousands of people registered to attend! Don’t wait – register and get your spot now! (and show up early!)